The Scarlet Letter

Adrienne Bailon leaked nudes

2008-11-12T09:07:00.001-08:00

Apparently Disney's 'Cheetah Girl' has lived up to her boyfriend's (Robert Kardashian) family name and leaked nude pictures of herself on the 'net.

Threesome

2008-08-05T04:00:00.003-07:00

5

2008-08-05T04:00:00.001-07:00

The 'N' Word by Simon Scarlet

2008-07-21T12:18:00.000-07:00

The 100 degree weather was bad enough, but Gina's air conditioning was broken and she was eight months pregnant to boot.

That meant, as she rolled into work one Tuesday morning, that she was already glistening with sweat before she'd even walked in the office door.

Parking her car in the shade, Gina hefted open the door and clambered out. The heat smothered her. She was wearing only a light cotton maternity dress - the bare minimum she could get away with - and it clung to her sweaty body, hugging every curve of her heavily pregnant figure. Her round, ripe bottom. Her big, tight belly. Her heavy, pendulous breasts. She was embarrassed that they were all on display - and it was clear from the lack of lines and bulges beneath the cotton that she'd decided to go without underwear that day (although, given the heat, you could hardly blame her.)

Waddling across the parking lot, the heavily pregnant woman pushed open the office door and gasped in pleasure as the cold air conditioning hit her.

Her nipples hardened - obvious beneath the damp, clingy cotton. She blushed - not that anybody would notice because her cheeks were red and clammy already.

"What time do you call this?" Bruno, Gina's boss, peered at her from around his office door. "Gina, I know you've only got a week before you go on maternity leave, but that's no excuse for tardiness."

"No, Mr Brown," Gina obediently replied, grumbling under her breath. Bruno was the office manager - a handsome and muscular black man with a chip on his shoulder and a habit of leering at her. He was doing it now, his brown eyes peering hungrily at Gina's sweaty body. She blushed even harder. She hated to see him perv over her - especially since her nipples were poking out like little bullet and her clammy dress was hugging her pregnant curves so tightly, she might as well have been naked.

"See it doesn't happen again," Bruno leered, licking his full, brown lips. "Get yourself settled and head upstairs. Mr Sweeney wants to talk to you about that letter you wrote for him."

Gina nodded and waddled over to her cubicle. She let out a groan of relief as she sank into her chair, finally taking the weight off her feet. Peeling her clammy dress from her cleavage, she took in some deep breaths before reaching for her notepad and pen.

The office was upstairs and they didn't have an elevator, so Gina had to haul her heavy belly up the steps to Mr Sweeney's office. She rapped loudly on the door.

"Come in!"

Mr Sweeney, a leather old man in charge of the company, peered up as Gina came in.

"Gina, m'dear," he leered, peering hungrily at her exposed, glistening cleavage. "You look just about ready to pop!"

"I am, sir," she admitted. "I'm off on maternity leave next week."

"Good for you," Sweeney grinned. "And don't forget, barring any screw ups, you've got that nice yearly bonus coming to you."

Gina smiled, not wanting to be rude (or appear greedy.) But she was excited about the bonus. It would pay off the credit card bills she and her husband had racked up anticipating the arrival of what she'd christened `el bambino terrible!'

"With only a week to go," Gina grinned, "I doubt I'll have the chance to screw up!"

"Good girl," Sweeney winked. "Now take some weight off and let me go through this letter with you."

Gina gratefully sank into a chair and gripped her pen.

"Ready, Mr Sweeney."

Sweeney opened the letter he'd dictated to her the day before.

"This letter needs to go out today," he insisted. "We've had some more customers complain about Rodd Jackson's behavior and I want him to get his notice." Jackson was an unpopular and aggressive salesman who worked for the company. "But I noticed some spelling mistakes I need to you to correct first."

"Okay, sir."

"You've written `naggling' here," Sweeney explained, "where I wrote `we have some niggling doubts about your abilities as a salesman.' You've done it here, too, where I wrote `...some consistent niggling discrepancies with your sales figures.' I need you to correct those two and get the letter out immediately, okay?"

"I'll make the corrections and get it up here for you to proof, Mr Sweeney."

"Don't worry about that," Sweeney said dismissively. "I trust you. Just correct it, print it out and get it off to Jackson immediately. You can sign my name at the bottom."

"Yes, sir."

With a nod, Gina hefted her bulk out of the chair and awkwardly waddled to the door, cradling her belly as she did so. Mr Sweeney watched her go, admiring her firm, round bottom as she went.

Once she'd clambered down the stairs and sunk gratefully into her chair, Gina was already exhausted. The heat had sapped all her strength that morning and the effort of hefting `el bambino terrible' around was like waddling about with a sack of grain slung to her belly.

Yawning, Gina opened the letter she'd written and clicked `find' and `replace.' She typed in to replace `nag' with `nig' and clicked `replace all', knowing that this would correct both times she'd written `naggling' instead of `niggling' simultaneously.

Then, she printed out the letter, signed it in Mr Sweeney's name and sealed it in an envelope.

The letter dropped into the `Out' tray. Gina started thinking about lunch.

Thursday morning was even hotter than Tuesday, if that was possible.

Although Gina relished the fact that she only had two more days left before her maternity leave started, it was still a struggle to haul her sweaty, heavy body into work that morning. She was wearing another light cotton dress, abandoning the itchy panties and restricting bra that modesty dictated she wore under it. In less than two days she'd be a free woman - and besides, it's not like she left her cubicle very often (and the comfort of going commando was worth the leering looks from sleazy old Bruno.

As she waddled across the parking lot, Gina was surprised to see her pervy office manager peering at her through the office window. She was late again, she knew - but the severe expression on the African American's face seemed to suggest something far more serious than her habitual tardiness.

As soon as Gina pushed open the door and stepped into the blissfully cool air, Bruno Brown snapped at her:

"Gina! My office, now."

"I'll just put my stuff at my desk," she suggested.

"Office!" Bruno repeated curtly. "Now!"

Gina narrowed her eyes. It sounded like she was in trouble.

Cradling her big belly, she waddled across the office and into Bruno's office. He slammed shut the door behind her.

Standing in the corner of Bruno's office, wearing one of the red blazers that the salesmen wore, was Rodd Jackson. The muscular, aggressive young black man was fuming, pounding one fist into the other furiously. What was he still doing here? Gina wondered. She'd mailed Mr Sweeney's letter two days ago.

"Sit down, Gina," Bruno snapped. Gina nervously dropped into one of his chairs, grateful to take `el bambino's' weight off her feet.

"We've got a problem," Bruno explained. "A big fucking problem."

"Damn right you have!" Rodd injected angrily. "I'm going to sue this fucking company! Damn racists!"

"W-what?" Gina asked uncertainly.

"Have a look at this. Third paragraph."

Bruno passed over a letter. It was familiar - the letter Gina had printed out for Mr Sweeney two days earlier.

The third paragraph read:

`We have received several customer complaints regarding your sales technique, Mr Jackson. You are overly aggressive and bother potential customers to place orders and sign paperwork during their time off and when they're busy with other things. While a refusal to take `no' for an answer is normally an asset for a salesman, in your case, you have overstepped the mark. You will never win over influential new customers if you continue to act like such a belligerent nigger."

"Nigger?" Gina blinked.

"I can't believe that whitebread cracker mother fucker called me a Goddamned nigger!" Jackson spat. "I ought to go upstairs and kick his entitled honkey ass!"

"Calm down," Bruno warned him.

"Calm down? Brother, you're black too. Are you telling me this isn't the most offensive shit you've ever read? He called me a belligerent nigger!"

Gina looked up. Her face was white.

"Oh my goodness..." She'd suddenly realized what had happened. "Nagger. The word is meant to be nagger, not nigger."

"What?" Jackson spat.

"I replaced all the n-a-g words with n-i-g," she explained. "I was trying to correct a spelling error. I didn't think it would do this."

"What did this bitch just say?" Jackson sneered.

"It's meant to say `nagger,' Gina repeated. "You're a belligerent nagger - because you nag people all the time."

"Say what?"

Bruno narrowed his eyes.

"Shit, that makes more sense," he admitted, "old man Sweeney's a lot of things, but he's not a racist."

"Typo or not," Jackson snatched the letter out of Gina's hands, "you can't send a brother a letter calling him a nigger and expect to get away with it. I'm gonna sue your ass! Take this mother fucking company for every dime it's got!"

"But that's not what was meant to be written in the letter," Gina cried.

"Do I look like I give a fuck what the letter was `meant' to say," Jackson sneered. "It's got Sweeney's signature at the bottom telling me I'm a nigger. That's a class action law suit right there!"

"But he didn't even see it!" Gina cried! "He just told me to correct it and send it off. I signed it for him."

Bruno was the one yelling this time.

"So this is your fault?"

Gina nodded miserably. She was sure the rest of the office could hear the two angry men yelling at her.

"Jesus, what a disaster," Bruno shook his head. "When Sweeney hears about this, he's going to explode."

"I'm still gonna sue his ass," Jackson snapped, "the old man'll pay me to keep this out of the papers."

Bruno narrowed his eyes. It was clear from his expression that Jackson had a point there.

"I'm heading up there right now," Jackson hissed. "I'll tell that old man where it's at. When he finds out what this silly bitch did, it ain't gonna be my ass he cans. I'll get my job back - and a raise too." He sneered at Gina. "You, on the other hand..." Jackson licked his lips.

"You can forget about your yearly bonus," Bruno finished Jackson's thought, "and you'll be lucky if Sweeney doesn't have you marched out of the building. `Nigger?' I can't believe it."

Fat tears welled up in Gina's eyes. She needed that bonus - and the pay from her maternity leave...

"It was an accident! A mistake!"

"Mistake or not," Jackson snapped, "I just got my ass fired. You think I'm just going to sit back when I've got a juicy settlement owed to me?"

""Please don't tell Mr Sweeney," Gina begged. "I need that bonus. My husband and I just bought a house and we've got credit card bills to pay..."

Jackson put his hands on his hips and threw his head back with laughter.

"Bitch, d'you think I give a fuck about your domestic issues?" He shook his head. "Damn, the only way I'd let this shit go is if you dropped to your knees right here and gave me a blowjob."

Gina blinked. Before her brain could stop her mouth from saying it, she murmured: "Okay."

Bruno and Jackson stopped dead.

"W-what?"

"I s-said I'd do it," Gina said meekly. "I'll give you a blowjob."

Jackson and Bruno peered at the heavily pregnant woman, sitting slumped in the chair with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Daaamn," Jackson muttered. "I'm tempted to take you up on that, bitch." The angry young man peered hungrily at her cleavage. He licked his lips. "A big titty pregnant bitch sucking on my cock. Damn, that's nasty. NASTY."

Bruno was stunned.

"I mean it," Gina told him, looking up at the boss she detested. "If you don't tell Mr Sweeney." She stared down at her feet, not believing the words that were coming out of her mouth. "I'll even d-do you, too..."

Bruno's eyes widened. Gina knew from the way he looked at her that he admired her curvy, pregnant body.

"Damn," Jackson muttered again. "I'm hard as a fucking crowbar now." He rubbed the crotch of his slacks, revealing a long, hard bulge in the front.

Bruno was sporting a swelling in the front of his trousers too. Awkwardly, he cleared his throat.

"You..." He turned to Jackson. "You wanna actually do that?"

Jackson was rubbing his crotch still.

"I would fucking love to," he admitted, "but I haven't got a fuckin' job. I'd like nothing better than to feed that sexy bitch my load, but it's not like old man Sweeney's gonna give me a job reference unless I threaten to sue his ass."

Bruno cleared his throat.

"I could... take care of that."

"Huh?"

"I've got a buddy over at the plant across the street. They're looking for salesmen and paying more than Sweeney is. I could put in a good word for you."

"Really?"

"And Gina here writes all Sweeney's letters. She could print you up a good reference - and I'll divert the call if they ever want to check it."

Jackson nodded in satisfaction.

"Tell you what, Bro. You get me that job and we got ourselves a deal." He turned to Gina and licked his lips. "Y'hear that? A deal?"

Gina felt butterflies in her stomach. She gulped.

"It's as good as done, man," Bruno's erection had created a tent in the front of his pants. "Gina!" He turned to the pregnant woman. "Go and put Jackson's details on a standard reference letter and bring it in. I'll call my buddy and see if we can't get this thing sorted."

Gina nodded. Her mouth dry, she scooped up her things and grabbed the `nigger' letter from the desk. Then, silently, she waddled out of the door and slumped heavily into her cubicle chair.

Her fingers were trembling as she typed out what she needed to. The printer spat out two sheets of paper. One, she folded neatly and slid into a tattered envelope. The other, she signed with Mr Sweeney's distinctive signature.

Then, looking at her computer screen, she clicked `delete'.

A few moments later, she came back into the office and handed Jackson the papers.

He read the reference letter carefully.

"Yeah," the aggressive young black man muttered. "That's some good shit. Nice."

There was a click as Bruno hung up the phone.

"And my buddy just said you could start tomorrow," he told Jackson proudly. "At two hundred a month more than you got here, plus full commission."

"Damn," Jackson grinned. "It's my lucky day." He then turned to Gina, peering down at the curvy little woman hungrily. "Scratch that. It ain't my lucky day yet."

Bruno crossed the office. He turned the key in the lock and lowered the blinds.

Gina shivered, trapped between these two big men.

"Ready to pay up?" Jackson hissed.

Gina's mouth was dry, so she simply nodded.

Jackson was sneering as she stepped forward. With his big, rough hands, he grabbed Gina's heavy, milk-filled breasts.

"Damn, these are some big titties," Gina felt an involuntary tingle between her legs as Jackson squeezed her breasts. "Are you wearing a bra underneath this?"

He let her heavy breasts flop back down to her chest and used his fingers to pop open the front of Gina's dress. A moment later, he was scooping her big, white breasts out of her dress.

"Damn, that's some sexy shit," his thumb rubbed Gina's big, brown nipples.

Gina closed her eyes, trying to ignore the sensation of Jackson's rough fingers. Her breath deepened.

"Damn," hot breath his Gina's ear. "She's not even wearing any panties." Bruno was standing behind her, lifting the hem of her maternity dress.

The cool air conditioning hit Gina's naked backside. Then she felt hot hands on the cheeks of her ass.

"What a fucking slut," Jackson breathed, still mauling her breasts. "Walking around with no panties on, just waiting to get fucked."

"Does your husband know what a fucking slut you are?" Bruno's thick fingers slid between Gina's thighs. "Does he?"

She gasped involuntarily, feeling Bruno's fat fingers part the lips of her pussy.

"Jesus," Bruno breathed hotly into her ear. "The bitch is wet."

Gina groaned, feeling Bruno's fingers slide inside her. She felt a gush of wetness in her crotch.

"Told you, man," said Jackson, gripping her big, heavy boobs in his rough fingers, "she's a fuckin' slut." He bent his head and pressed his mouth against hers. Gina surrendered, opening her lips as he forced his tongue inside. She groaned into his mouth.

Gina couldn't help it. With Jackson squeezing and kneading her breasts and Bruno sliding two fingers deep inside her, she felt her defenses melt.

Jackson's kisses were hard. His breath tasted of menthol cigarettes and coffee. She couldn't believe how turned on she suddenly was.

With a sigh of disappointment, Gina felt Bruno's fat fingers pulled from her moist pussy. Still being frenched roughly by Jackson, she helplessly swayed on her unsteady feet and Bruno untied the strap of her cotton maternity dress and peeled off the clinging fabric.

The dress fell to the floor. Gina was naked apart from her strappy sandals.

"You're fucking sexy," Bruno groaned, rubbing his big, calloused hands over her round, firm backside. He pressed his crotch against her ass and she felt his erection through the thin material of his trousers. He hands encircled her waist and then caressed her enormous, tight belly. "Look how big this bitch is."

With a wet `smack', Jackson pulled his lips from hers.

"She's just about ready to pop," he agreed. "Fuck, so am I!"

Standing back, he unbuckled his belt and popped his flies. A moment later, Jackson was pulling an enormous erection from his pants.

Gina gasped. His throbbing brown cock was as long as her forearm, thick and veined.

"You ever see one this big before?" Jackson sneered, grabbing her tiny hand and bringing it to his crotch. "Touch it."

She did, wrapping her little fingers around the thick shaft. Her pussy throbbed as she did so.

"You know what to do, bitch."

Placing his heavy hands on her naked shoulders, Jackson pushed Gina to her knees.

The naked, pregnant woman dropped to the floor. Her face was level with his crotch now, the musky scent and heat of Jackson's erection just inches from her mouth.

"Open wide," he demanded, gripping the base of his shaft and smacking the hard flesh against her cheek. "Time for some chocolate."

Gina raised her hands, cupping Jackson's heavy, egg sized balls in one and the base of his massive erection in the other. Then, opening her lips as wide as she could, she lowered her mouth over the throbbing head of his swollen dick.

"Holy shit," Jackson threw his head back. "Bitch's mouth is like warm butter, man..."

Bruno was wasting no time stripping off his pants, tossing his trousers into the corner of the room. With his own huge erection sticking out from the bottom of his shirt, the office manager dropped to his knees behind Gina.

Her bottom was stuck out, so Bruno grabbed it. He parted her fleshy cheeks with one hand and slid two fingers back inside her.

"She's dripping," he gasped.

And Gina was. As she sucked and slurped on Jackson's swollen cock, she couldn't help but feel a wet, insistent throbbing between her own legs.

"I'm gonna fuck her," Bruno hissed.

"Mmmmgh!" Gina cried, her mouth full of cock. That wasn't part of the deal!

But the hard, fleshy knob of Bruno's cock was soon being pushed against her moist pussy and, like a bitch in heat, she involuntarily pushed back. With a pop, the head of Bruno's dick slipped past any resistance and Gina moaned as she felt herself open up to receive his cock.

Bruno's dick was long and thick, but her wet, hungry pussy opened eagerly for every inch of it, until his hips banged against her round, soft ass. He was inside her, right to the hilt.

"That's fuckin' sexy," Jackson breathed, watching his former boss fuck the pregnant girl while she slurped and slobbered over his own throbbing cock. "Damn, this is better than a porno."

Poor little Gina was squeezing her eyes shut hard, pretending she was in a porno - anywhere apart from her office manager's office with the best part of two feet of dick inside her. But it was impossible to block it out - to ignore the thick shaft reaming her out, or the throbbing erection
filling her mouth.

Bruno grabbed her big, round bottom and started thrusting, his hips making a wet, slapping sound as they met with her sweaty rump. Meanwhile, Jackson had grabbed a fistful of Gina's luxurious black hair and was forcing her mouth deeper and faster up and down his cock, fucking her face just like Bruno was fucking her from behind.

Gina felt like a rag doll, pushed first one way, then the other by these two horny, powerful men. As she was bounced back and forth, her heavy breasts swung too and fro, slapping against the top of her big, round belly. It felt like every inch of her flesh was jiggling. Her nipples
strained. Her pussy throbbed.

"Can you feel that," Bruno demanded, suddenly realizing that her wet pussy was quivering and gripping him from within. "I think this fuckin' bitch is gonna come!"

And she did. Fat tears of shame rolling down her cheeks, Gina felt herself orgasm, gripped with pleasure that radiated hotly from her crotch.

"That's hot," Jackson felt Gina groan, the throaty vibrations humming around his dick. "I'm gonna come too..."

Grabbing her hair tightly, Jackson yanked Gina's head up, his throbbing dick popping from her mouth and splattering her face with saliva. Then, pumping his slick cock with one hand, Jackson aimed for Gina's sweaty face and groaned as his dick spurted a thick load of sperm right across her chin.

"Yeah!" Jackson kept pumping his cock, watching more spurts join the first, painting Gina's pretty face with thick strings of jizz. "All over that bitch's face..."

As he watched his colleague give her a facial, Bruno came too.

He gripped Gina's hips tightly and thrust himself deep into her spasming cunt.

His dick shuddered and throbbed. Gina felt his cock swell up deep inside her.

"No," she sobbed. "Not inside me..."

But it was too late. Ramming himself up to the balls inside Gina's wet little pussy, Bruno spurted his load inside her. The sudden feeling of wetness and heat made Gina shudder. She came again, wracked by shame and pleasure all at the same time.

She was still shuddering as Bruno and Jackson released her.

Sweaty, sticky and exhausted, she slumped to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Damn," Jackson was already stuffing his limp, sticky cock into his pants. "That bitch looks well and truly fucked."

Bruno slumped into his office chair, glistening dick growing soft. "Yeah, she does."

And Gina did look exactly that - well and truly fucked.

She was sweaty and red faced. Her chin and lips were plastered with sperm. Her swollen breasts were covered with rough, red hand prints. Her sweaty thighs flopped open and her glistening pussy looked red and raw. The whole room reeked of sex.

Jackson was already gathering up his things.

"Damn, bitch," he looked down at the exhausted Gina, "you better clean yourself up, girl."

He scooped up her dress from the floor.

"Wipe that fucking cum off your mouth..." Balling her dress in his fist, he smeared his load with the soft cotton, wiping it off Gina's face, but leaving a wet and glistening stain across the front of her dress.

"Get dressed," Bruno demanded, pulling on his own crumpled pants. "You've still got work to do..."

Reluctantly, Gina clambered to her feet. Her knees felt weak. As she stood up, a warm dribble of Bruno's sperm run hotly down her thigh.

"Nasty," Jackson sniggered.

Gina wrapped her damp, sticky dress back around her bruised breasts and big, round belly. She tied it closed.

Her makeup was smeared. Her exposed cleavage revealed the fingermarks and bruises all over her huge breasts. Silvery smears of sperm were plastered over her cotton dress.

It would be obvious to anybody who paid attention that she'd just been roughly and thoroughly fucked.

With her legs slightly bowed, the exhausted girl waddled to the door and unlocked it. Then, reeking of sex and sperm, she crossed the office (ignoring the sneers and glances from her colleagues) and slumped her heavy pregnant body into her cubicle chair.

Finally safe from prying eyes, Gina lifted the hem of her sticky dress. Her hands slid underneath her round, tight belly.

Parting her thighs, Gina's fingers sunk into her wet, sperm-filled pussy and she rubbed her
throbbing clit, bringing herself to a third intense, satisfying orgasm just thinking about the debasing acts she'd just allowed the two young men to do to her.

Plastic Surgery - a Story by Simon Scarlet

2008-07-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

When Simon Scarlet and his wife Gina were knee deep in diapers and formula bottles, Gina came up with the ultimatum.

"I'm fat," she demanded, rubbing the remaining traces of baby-belly. "I want to get my tummy tucked."

Simon looked up from one of their cooing babies - a beautiful brown eyed boy called Pierce.

"You are NOT fat," he snapped. "You're absolutely beautiful."

And as far as he was concerned, she was. His wife Gina was sixty inches of Italian American hotness. Short and sweet, she had a curvy, compact body that had just got a little softer and a little rounder after giving birth to an eight pound boy a couple of months earlier.

"No," Gina stamped her foot. "I'm FAT."

She jiggled her tummy again.

"I'm going to get a tummy tuck..." She hissed. "I want a flat belly like Denise Richards or something."

Simon put down the bottle. Pierce immediately burst into tears.

"You are beautiful exactly the way you are," Simon growled. "I don't want you to have a THING done. And who the hell is Denise Richards?"

"That's what the media are saying... But anyway. Tough luck," Gina growled. "I have an appointment with the plastic surgeons tomorrow. I'll need you to look after the babies, okay"

As if on cue, little baby Miko burst into tears in her bedside crib.

The sliding door swung open. A slim and attractive Asian woman peered though, her almond-shaped eyes bleary with sleep.

"It's okay, Asagi," Simon said soothingly. "I'll deal with her."

He raised himself from his chair and slid the bawling Pierce under one arm. With the other, he scooped up Miko and bobbed her up and down until her crying soothed.

By the time he'd got the two babies to calm down, Gina had stormed out of the kitchen.

Simon turned to the sleepy Asagi.

"When Gina gets an idea in her head..."

The following morning, Gina Scarlet rolled her Rav 4 into the parking lot of Parkington, Pinkerton and Plank, Plastic Surgeons by Appointment to Her Majesty the Queen.

They were apparently Long Island's only Royal approved plastic surgeons - which seemed wildly improbable to Gina, but she was more worried about her apparent baby-belly than whether or not Elizabeth II approved of her choice of plastic surgeons or not.

She marched into the lobby and smiled at the gum-chewing blond behind the desk.

"I have an appointment with Dr Pinkerton at 9am."

"Awww. Riiight. `Ang on a second, Luv. Ay'll see if I gotcha in der book, awight?" The blonde flicked through the book. "Aww! `Ere you are! `Ang on a moment. The doc will be right out, awight?"

"Er... Okay."

Gina nervously took a seat, picking up a six year old copy of Woman's Weekly to flick through.

A few moments later, the gum-chewing girl bellowed: "Doc's right `ere, luv. Come on through."

Gina was guided down the corridor to a smart, well appointed office with a leather examination chair in the corner.

She stood in the doorway, until a crisp British accent beckoned her through.

"Mrs Scarlet!" From behind the desk, a scrawny little man in a white coat appeared, offering his hand. "Come on through, m'dear."

Dr Pinkerton was a good looking little fellow, even if he was barely five feet tall and his hairline was receeding.

"Oh, m'dear. Come on through. Take a seat. Take a seat. Can I offer you a cup of tea? Earl Grey? Darjeeling?"

"Er, no, no," Gina nervously sat down. "I'm fine."

"Good, good. Excellent. Spiffing." Dr Pinkerton sat down opposite her and clasped his hands together. "So tell me, m'dear. What brings a charming young lady such as yourself to our fine establishment?"

Gina jiggled her belly.

"This." She explained.

"What?"

"This!" She lifted her blouse.

"Erm..." Pinkerton scratched his head. "I'm not sure exactly what you're referring too..."

Gina pinched her belly fat together and pointed at it.

"That. THAT! This flab."

"Oh."

Pinkerton grabbed a pair of spectacles from his desk drawer and slid them onto his nose. Her peered at Gina's exposed flesh.

"Well... I suppose we could have a look at it..."

"I want it gone..." Gina hissed.

"Well, why don't I ask my colleagues to come in and examine it and see what we can do for you."

Gina nodded thoughtfully. "Alright then."

Rising from his desk, Pinkerton pointed towards the leather examination table in the corner of the room.

"I'll tell you what. Hop out of your clothes and pop on that table and we'll have a look at you,' He headed towards the door. "I'll be back in a moment, okay?"

As the door closed, Gina obediently unbuttoned her blouse and slid out of her skirt. Bra and panties landed in a pile on the floor. A moment later, she was peering a herself in the full length mirror, appraising her full, milk-filled breasts, round, ripe bottom and the slight circle of lingering fat around her small waist.

"Ugh,"

She hopped up onto the table.

A moment later, the door opened and Doctor Pinkerton returned.

His eyes widened when he saw Gina in all her naked glory.

"Ah! Wonderful!" Rubbing his hands together, Pinkerton reached for the draw of tools near his desk. "I'm just going to give you a little shot and then I'll bring in my colleagues to examine you, okay?"

Gina sat up, covering her large breasts with her hands.

"A shot? What sort of shot?"

"Just something to relax you," he promised, pulling a large hyperdemic from the drawer. "It's necessary, I promise."

"Well, okay," Gina reluctantly nodded, "if it's necessary..."

"Just roll over for me."

Gina rolled onto her side, exposing her round, ripe rump to the British doctor.

He filled the syringe, flicked the shining needle and plunged it into her backside.

"Ow!"

But Gina's protests quickly faded.

The plunger of the hyperdermic squeezed down. Gina's backside was filled with sedative. The beautiful girl's big, brown eyes grew heavy.

"Wow," she slurred. "That's pretty strong stuff..."

A moment later, she was snoring.

Doctor Pinkerton rolled her onto her back and checked her pulse and breathing. She was out cold.

He rubbed his hands together.

"Perfect."

A few moments later, the leather examination table was rolled out of his office, down a corridor into a well lit surgical theatre.

There, wearing surgical gowns and nothing else, were two middle aged men.

Pinkerton slammed the brakes on the gurney and presented the slumbering, naked woman.

"Voila!' The British doctor beamed. "May I present Mrs Scarlet."

Doctor Plank, a rotund British man with a whiskery moustache, rubbed his hands together.

"Good lord! What a beauty! Where on earth did you find her?"

"She came in for some work," Pinkerton beamed.

"Work," the tall, grizzled doctor paced curiously around the slumbering brunette. "What work could she possibly want done. She's PERFECT."

Pinkerton shrugged.

"That's what I thought."

"Well. Why is she here?"

The smiling doctor rubbed his hands together.

"I thought a Plan C was called for," Pinkerton beamed. "Talking her OUT of plastic surgery. And as you'll remember, that calls for a very thorough examination first..."

The three doctors paced around Gina's sleeping, naked body.

Plank stopped off at the counter at the end of the surgical theatre and cracked open a bottle of bills. He tipped three little blue tablets into the palm of a hand and squirted water into three thimble-sized plastic cups. He handed them around to his colleagues.

"Ah, the miracle blue pill for the middle aged man," Pinkerton beamed, as he swallowed the pill and washed it down with a swig of water. "Ta muchly, old bean!"

"S'not just normal Viagra, matey," Plank winked, swallowing his own pill. "It's a new fast-acting version of it. Not approved by the FDA yet, but I've got a chum in the know..."

"Fast acting? How fast..." Boing! Suddenly, the front of Parkington's hospital gown bulged outward. He peered down at his distended crotch.

"Good lord, that is fast..."

Plank was soon idly rubbing his own throbbing hard on through the crinkly material of his gown, while Pinkerton was stripping out of his suit and white coat.

The scrawny Englishman stood naked, his enormous erection jutting proudly from a neatly trimmed next of pubic hair. His Viagra-enhanced hardon seemed vastly out of proportion compared to the rest of his short, skinny body.

"Good work, Plank," Pinkerton beamed, peering proudly down at his pulsating pecker. "This is simply spiffing!"

There was a rustling as Parkington and Plank both shrugged off their hospital robes. Then, the three naked, middle aged doctors circled Gina's slumbering body and rubbed their hands together eagerly.

"Good lord, she's beautiful," Plank beamed, running his fingers across Gina's serene face. He stroked her hair. His thumb brushed her full, lucious lips.

Instinctively, the sleeping girl's lips parted and she sucked Plank's thumb into her mouth.

She started sucking - creating a powerful, undulating vacuum that drew Plank's thick thumb into her mouth right up to the second knuckle.

"I say!"

"Oh, the suckling," Pinkerton nodded, peering over his colleague's freckled shoulder. "Yes... Side effect of the sedative, old bean. Damn strange thing, though. She must revert to her basest, most primitive urges while unconscious."

"The urge to suckle?"

"Exactly, sport."

"Crikey. Interesting side effect..." With a guilty glance left and right, Plank shuffled forward until his thighs hit the cold metal of the examination table. Then he slid his thumb from Gina's suckling lips with a `slurp' and eagerly pressed the swollen, throbbing head of his engorged
penis against her mouth.

Obediantly, unconsciously, Gina swallowed it up.

"Good God!" Plank swooned in pleasure.

Her cheeks hollowed, lips stretched around the thick circumference of his veiny cock, Gina started sucking eagerly. Plank gripped the side of the gurney hard, astounded at the pleasure of her wet, warm mouth.

While the whiskery Plank was enjoying Gina's talented, if oblivious blow-job technique, the grizzled Parkington was examining the rest of her body.

His calloused fingers stroked her soft skin.

"Oh, it's delicious," he purred. "So soft and smooth... And what a lovely olive complexion she has. Italian?"

Pinkerton checked his notepad.

"According to her forms, she's part Jew as well."

"Oh, how lovely. A real dusky, Mediterranean maiden."

His bony fingers caressed Gina's stomach. He examined the `flab' she was so upset about.

"A little softness," he mused. "A few stretch marks. Nothing major. In fact, I think she looks rather attractive the way she is."

"Oh, I concur," Pinkerton agreed. The naked Doctor had just stepped to the end of the examination table and was yanking out two hinged stirrups from the underside. "She's lovely. A tummy tuck would just give her two ugly scars..."

Parkington nodded. His hands moved up, tracing a path along Gina's ribcage until they cupped her heavy, engorged breasts.

They were large and heavy - more than a handful for even the doctor's big paws. He idly squeezed one of her enormous brown nipples between thumb and forefinger. A squirt of milk dribbled out.

"And still lactating, I see," Parkington mused cheerfully. He squeezed her breasts roughly, lowering his head to lap up the dribbling milk. "Very nutritious, you know," he purred, before his lips encircled Gina's nipple and he started mirroring the suckling motions she was making.

So while the unconscious Gina was suckling on Plank's engorged cock - and Parkington was eagerly suckling on her milk, it was left to Pinkerton to heft her short little legs into the stirrups and fold down the base of the examination table. He whistled tunelessly while he worked.

Within minutes, Gina's bottom was balanced on the edge of the table, while her thighs were lifted and spread by the examination stirrups. This left her pussy, inner thighs and lower buttocks totally exposed to the perverted doctor.

"She's shaved, I see," Pinkerton beamed, spreading her labia with his bony fingers. "And completely healed from giving birth." Reaching under the table, he produced a bottle of examination lubrication and squirted the clear, slick gel onto his fingers. A moment later, two of them were pressing against Gina's pussy lips and sliding inexorably inside.

"Oh.... Lovely and tight, despite recently giving birth." He pulled his fingers from her glistening pussy and dropped them down an inch, until he was pressing his fingertips against the wrinkled brown starfish of her asshole.

He pushed.

"Gosh! So tight!"

Reluctantly, Gina's clenched sphincter relaxed enough for his well-lubricated fingers to `pop' past the resistance and slide inside her hieney.

"Even tighter!" Pinkerton's smile widened. His cock throbbed. "Oh, she's tighter than a forth grade prep-school boy. This'll remind me of being back at boarding school in England!"

With that, Pinkerton allowed Gina's clenching butt muscles to expel his fingers and, squirting another glob of lubricant into his palm, he used them to grease up his straining, throbbing erection.

Glistening with lube, Pinkerton eagerly pressed the swollen head of his cock against Gina's tightly clenched little butt... and pushed.

It took a lot of effort. Her tight little rump was steadfastly refusing to open up for the swollen intruder. But after a minute of pushing, the lube helped slip through the resistance and Gina's ass opened up like a flower, allowing the doctor to sink his shaft inside her.

"Oh, heavens!" His eyes closed, Pinkerton shuffled forward, sinking into Gina's backside right up to his balls. "This is exquisite!"

But neither Plank nor Parkington were listening. Plank was still enjoying Gina's enthusiastic, gobbling mouth, while Parkington was feasting on her breast-milk, his enormous erection throbbing as he idly pumped it with his free hand.

So Pinkerton abandoned the running commentary and concentrated on the delicious sensation of his engorged manhood sliding in and out of the velvety grip of Gina's asshole. He was stretching her wide, sinking deeper into her anus on every thrust. It felt wonderful... Like every inch of his
long shaft was being caressed.

Pinkerton's thrusts picked up speed - until he was hammering quite roughly into Gina's butt. The gurney rattled. Gina's floppy, unconscious body jiggled as he fucked her.

Plank didn't mind a bit - each inward thrust would send Gina's head lurching forward - and his cock sinking another inch down her throat.

But Parkington was not amused.

He straightened up, breast milk dribbling down his whiskers.

"I say, do you mind old man? Some of us are trying to eat?"

"Terribly sorry," Pinkerton apologized, not relenting on the speed or roughness of his thrusts. "I'm nearly done, though."

He gazed up Gina's prostate body. Now released from Parkington's grip, her swollen, milk filled breasts wobbled back and forth at each thrust.

"Oh yes," Pinkerton groaned, gripping Gina's buttocks in his bony fingers and spreading them wide beneath him. "This is it... I'm close..."

His cock swelled inside her. Pinkerton felt his sperm spurt into her spasming butt.

"Oh God!" One spurt. Then another. Then Pinkerton's eyes glazed as his orgasm continued.

"Good show, old man," Parkington clapped his hands. "Right up her bum!"

His sperm firmly spurted into her ravished rump, Pinkerton let Gina's tight muscles force his flaccid cock out. It slapped wetly on the leather, drained and limp.

Sweating, the skinny doctor took a wobbly step back.

"I say," he grinned. "That was tremendous."

He and Parkington examined his handiwork. Between Gina's sweaty buttocks, her little brown asshole was swollen and red. A dribble of creamy cum oozed down onto the leather table.

"You know, old chum," Parkington wiped the breast milk from his moustache. "I think I might partake of a bit of sodomy now." His eyes narrowed. "Or maybe I'll give that lovely pudenda of hers a plunder. What d'you think?"

"Sloppy seconds? Or virgin territory? Your choice, old bean."

"Hardly virgin territory," Parkington barked. "She just popped a sprog..." He grinned lasciviously. "Wouldn't mind giving it a go, though."

Holding out his hand, Parkington waited for his colleague to spurt a big dollop of lubricant into it. Then, slathering up his dick, he took Pinkerton's position between Gina's spread thighs and aimed his swollen cockhead at the pink, hairless lips of her pussy.

Like a moist flower, her cunt opened up under the pressure. Parkington's hard cock sunk inside.

"Oh, it's like butter," he moaned. "Like warm, hot butter."

Soon, he was buried into Gina's pussy up to his wrinkled balls. Instead of thrusting, he just ground his hips, grinding himself against her and feeling the warm embrace of her moist, delicious cunt.

Meanwhile, at Gina's head, Plank was babbling incoherently.

"Oh, good lord," he groaned, gripping the gurney for support. "Lil' slut's going to finish me off..."

His buttocks clenched. Plank groaned, spittle dribbling down his cheek.

"I'm coming! Oh, Christ! It's a geyser!"

He exploded into Gina's mouth.

Gina remained unconscious, but her eyes screwed tightly shut as her mouth was filled with hot, salty sperm. She continued to suck, her cheeks bulging with his fluid. Her throat bulged as she instinctively swallowed.

Plank let her suck him dry, swallowing each salty spurt. Eventually, when the suckling on his flaccid cock became too intense, he reluctantly pulled his limp dick from her mouth. The suction broke with a `pop.' White, creamy cum dribbled down the sleeping girl's cheek.

Panting for breath, Plank wiped his wet cock on Gina's luxurious black hair and staggered back. His face was red. His chest was heaving.

"That was marvelous," he beamed. "Haven't had a suck job like that since shore leave in Saigon."
Cheerfully, the naked doctor waddled to the end of the gurney and stood behind Pinkerton. They both watched their colleague as he gently fucked Gina's defenceless pussy.

Parkington was in heaven. Gina's moist, hot cunt was delicious. As he plunged his pulsating pecker deeper and deeper into her depth, he felt a familiar tingle develop in his balls that warned him explosion was near.

"Don't have the stamina I used to, boys," he apologized, turning from grinding to pumping, his flabby belly slapping wetly against Gina's sweaty skin. "Think I'm going to shoot my muck soon enough."

Plank and Pinkerton crossed their arms and smiled good naturedly.

"Don't hold back on our account."

"Yes, enjoy yourself. It's what the slut's here for."

"Jolly good," with renewed vigor, the whiskery doctor humped and pumped and plundered his unconscious victim's pussy.

As he thrust, he reached up and gripped her undulating breasts with his big hands. He squeezed, the soft flesh bulging between his fingers. Gripping her milk-sacs hard enough to bruise her skin, Parkington fucked with the vigor of a man half his age.

"I'm going to come," he suddenly announced. His thrusts quickened. "D'you think this slut's on any form of birth control?"

Plank beamed: "Shouldn't think so. Not if she's breastfeeding."

"And she'll be fertile as a turtle," Pinkerton added. "All those lovely hormones whizzing around. Women who've just given birth can get knocked up at the drop of a hat."

"Yes," snorted Plank. "A hat full of come!"

"Very good," Parkington grinned. The thought of coming inside this sexy, fertile new mother drove him over the edge. His balls constricted. "Well, my yummy little mummy, here it comes, ready or not!"

Thrusting himself as deeply into Gina's pussy as he could, the whiskery doctor's sperm squirted deep inside of her. He pumped her full, feeling each gush spurt perilously close to what he fantasized was a ripe, unfertilized egg.

Eventually, panting, the exhausted doctor slid his flaccid cock from her moist depths with a `slurp.' It was followed by a cascade of come, dribbing down between her buttocks onto the leather table.

"Hope enough stayed inside her," he mused, wiping his sticky cock on Gina's splayed thigh.

The three doctors, red faced and drained, gathered around their unconscious victim and smiled with satisfaction.

The sleeping Gina looked thoroughly disheveled and debased. Her body was glistening with sweat. Red handprints marked her breasts and thighs. Silvery sperm glinted on her hair, ran down her chin and bubbled from her red, engorged pussy and asshole.

"Good work, gents," Pinkerton shook his colleagues hands. "Now if you don't mind, I'd better get her back to my office before that sedative wears off..."

The drugs took their time to wear off. When Gina's heavy eyelids eventually lifted, she found herself rolled on her side, naked and lying on the same examination table she'd fallen unconscious on.

She felt... strange. Exhausted. Sweaty. Sticky.

Sitting up, Gina turned and looked at Doctor Pinkerton, who was sitting innocently behind his desk in his white coat, filling in paperwork.

"Er... Doctor?"

The friendly physician looked up.

"Ah! Mrs Scarlet! You're awake! I thought you'd sleep all day."

"W-what happened?" Gina licked her lips. "Why does my mouth taste salty?"

"Side effect of the drugs," Pinkerton beamed. It's perfectly normal."

Gina woozily tried to get off the leather examination table. Her legs buckled.

"Woah, steady on," Pinkerton sprang to his feet and gallantly supported her, helping the naked housewife waddle drunkenly to the chair where her clothes were neatly folded. "It'll take a minute to get your balance back."

"Why do I feel so... so..."

"So what, m'dear?"

"Well," Gina blushed as she said it. "Fucked, to tell the truth."

She meant `fucked' as in exhausted, but Pinkerton smirked when he considered how true it was.
"While you were unconscious," the doctor explained, "my colleagues and I tried something... Take a look at yourself in the mirror."

Gina skeptically peered at herself in the full length mirror.

Her body was covered in red hand prints. She felt sticky. Dirty, somehow...

"Look at your tummy, m'dear."

Dazed and confused, she did as she was told.

"Gosh! It's gone down!"

Her hand stroked where her imaginary baby bulge had been.

"Exactly. Some massage - hence the hand prints - and some herbal infusions and look what we could do."

Gina proudly examined her new `flatter' stomach, even though Pinkerton knew full well the `miraculous' result was probably half in her imagination and half the result of all those calories she'd burnt being roughly sodomised and fucked in her sleep.

"Oh, doctor Pinkerton!" She beamed. "This is great! And no scars, either!" she wrapped her arms around the doctor, pressing her naked body against him.

"Please, please, m'dear," Pinkerton feigned embarrassment. "It was nothing."

"It's not nothing. I look wonderful."

"Now that," the British doctor purred wickedly, "I can agree with."

Gina hurriedly pulled on her clothes. As Pinkerton watched her, he noticed a glob of sperm dribble from her pussy and down her inner thigh. He froze...

But the oblivious housewife didn't notice. Instead, she buttoned up her jeans and pulled up her blouse to show off her `new' slimmer stomach.

Watching her expose more flesh, Doctor Pinkerton felt a bulge grow inside his trousers. After his adventures of that afternoon, he was reluctant to send this adorable New York housewife off into the wilderness without a chance to see her again.

"Just to be on the safe side, you'd better come back next week for a follow up exam," Pinkerton beamed. He reminded himself to purchase more of that sedative he'd used...

So bouncing cheerfully, completely oblivious of the three loads of sperm she had sloshing around her body (one in each of her delicious orifices) Gina Scarlet strolled sexily out to her car and pulled out of the parking lot. She couldn't wait to show her husband her sexy `flatter' tummy.

Doctor Pinkerton watched her drive away. He couldn't wait to see that sexy body of hers again either. It was a pity seven days was such a long time to wait.

Black Beauty

2008-07-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

From Great Britain..

2007-12-24T07:32:00.000-08:00

The Union Jack flag and Manchester United lampshade (how sexy) give it away...

More of What You love...

2007-10-23T19:29:00.001-07:00

My dear friends...

2007-10-23T19:24:00.001-07:00

Sexy Lady

2007-09-03T06:06:00.001-07:00

I'm back with a threesome!

2007-08-13T20:11:00.001-07:00

Blone

2007-03-04T13:50:00.000-08:00

Isn't she lovely?

Well, this beautiful blonde certainly gives us some delicious photos to enjoy.

Threesomes...

2007-03-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

Ah, the pleasure of a threesome...

Either a relationship landmine, or a liberating sexual adventure, a threesome brings a whole new dimension to any sexual relationship. It's boyfriend+girlfriend+other... But what if other gets too much attention from Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

Or else it's person+person+person... But does one person feel left out?

Threesomes are perhaps one of life's most dangerous sexual adventures - but also one of the most exciting. The taste and touch of a third person can open up whole new plateaus of pleasure. It's dynamite that will either uncover a rich new vein of passion - or cause everything to collapse.

Perhaps that's why I, like so many men and women, are obsessed with threesomes. Add another guy or another girl to the mix and, ladies and gentlemen, one thing you're sure of is a wild time. But are you prepared for whatever it is you've unleashed?

Strip Poker

2007-02-28T11:44:00.000-08:00

Strip poker.

It's either going to be a good idea, or a bad idea.

If there's a camera involved, it depends who's on which end of the lense.

I'll tell you what, though. The cheap Lambrini this honey was swilling obviously spoilt her poker face, which explains why it's not just her pink cheeks we're enjoying here.

Cards: Don't drink and deal, chaps!

Some more Serpieri pictures...

2007-02-26T13:52:00.000-08:00

Tanned Skin... White Sheets...

2007-02-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

Here are some lovely candid pictures of a blonde honey.

I love the way her tanned skin contrasts with the crisp white sheets... And her neatly shaven punani looks very tempting.

The question I have... Who was taking the photo when she was naked, lying next to her boyfriend?

It suggests some VERY saucy pictures exist that we're not privvy too.

Too bad.

Random Nudity

2007-02-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

Check out those.... Erm...

2007-02-18T14:08:00.000-08:00

Now I'm not your typical man's man.

I don't hang around in sports bars drinking ice cold urine masquerading as pilsner. Nor do I tend to stare at a woman's chest and yell: "Check out that rack."

It's not to say I don't appreciate a nice pair of large, firm breasts. It's just Simon Scarlet didn't get where he did by objectifying women. Seducing them is a far more pleasurable activity.

That being said, sometimes the Budweiser swilling lug inside of me stirs - normally driven by the sight of an impressive female cleavage. Although I prefer a nice backside (firm, but not too muscular, generously proportioned and ripe like a delicious peach) a large pair of breasts will still hypnotize me like the latest season of CSI Miami.

So as you can imagine, when these photos crossed my desktop, I was pretty impressed. A girl like this should be pouring steins in a German beer hall - in my fantasies at least.

This girl's breasts are a thing of wondrous beauty. Take a moment, dear readers. Grab a seat. Pour yourself a glass of something robust. Take in these beautiful globes and imagine just how soft, firm and pendulous they must be.

I wonder what colour her nipples are? I'm thinking pink - and in my imagination, they taste like strawberry.

Pretty in Pink

2007-02-18T03:17:00.000-08:00

Here's the same stunning girl from yesterday, back by popular demand in a lovely pink camisole.

She's mouthwatering, isn't she?

Cumming Number One

2007-02-17T05:58:00.000-08:00

This gorgeous blonde appears to have won some kind of beauty pagent.

Beauty pagents are an oddly American thing - but then again American girls do tend to place more emphasis on their physical appearance than us Europeans.

I'll tell you what, though. Not only does this guy think he's getting head from the hottest girl around... Now his opinion has been validated by a trio of horny judges.

At least, unlike former Miss England Danielle Lloyd, this hottie keeps her oral skills to deserving members of the public, not the actual judges themselves.

Little Kitty Slave

2007-02-16T12:20:00.000-08:00

Little Kitty Slave is a new blog about a bossy career woman who's decided to become her hubby's sex slave. Check it out here.

Things of Beauty

2006-11-11T11:40:00.000-08:00

I think the reason we all love pornography so much is the contrast.

The sight of beautiful, pure, innocent creatures doing dirty, disgusting things.

Take this beauty below. If you met her on Park Avenue, you might think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. But as she demonstrates, her skills with sticky cream in her mouth are far more extensive than we'd imagine.

The real truth is that many men want a whore in the bedroom, but a lady outside. What we have to understand is that real women are both, all at the same time. This duality modern men demand cannot and will never exist.

And, based on what we see in these pictures, who'd want it to?

My new book - The Julia Roberts Experiment

2006-11-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

Not featuring Julia Roberts at all - the explanation for the title is in the book.

This is the novel I've been working on for the last few months. If you're interested in finding out more, please visit my page on Lulu here.

You can even buy copies, if you're so inclined!

"The most perverted humour, or most humourous perversion, I've ever read."

Meet Simon and Gina. They're just your normal, everyday, happily married sexual deviants. In The Julia Roberts Experiment, you'll discover six stories of blistering eroticism, hilarious comedy, subversive sexuality and downright fun. Shockingly explicit, hysterically funny, with The Julia Roberts Experiment, author Simon Scarlet revolutionises the erotica genre and teases the reader with his unique brand of childish humour and sizzling sexuality.

The Hiatus is Over

2006-11-10T14:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for my long and unexplained absence.

The fact is, I've written a book. But living on a remote Cornish island, with nothing but a word processor, a barrel of Otter and a succesion of local maidens to keep me warm at night.

The good news is that I'm back in Paris and my epic is soon hitting the bookshelves. But, in the mean time, I need to start giving something back.

So without further ado, let me give you a quick update on my activities over the last few months...

I could share the fishing stories. The tall tales shared over pints of local brew on the Isles of Scilly... But instead I'll feast your senses with some delicious local flesh.

Enjoy - and please drop us a comment or two.

Did you miss me?

2006-05-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

After nearly four months of vacation, I'm back.

The Girl From Starbucks

2006-01-22T14:10:00.000-08:00

International News: America's East Coast

Yes, apparently this girl works for Starbucks.

Now you see why your cappacinos are so expensive.

A Few Friends

2006-01-18T13:52:00.000-08:00

Girls

2006-01-13T01:36:00.000-08:00

Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding

2006-01-11T02:35:00.001-08:00

International News: On General Release

A few years ago, in an episode of the racy cartoon "South Park," the porky character Cartman declared that all independent films were about gay cowboys eating pudding. "You show me one independent film that isn't about gay cowboys eating pudding."

Well, at last our long wait is over. With Brokeback Mountain, director Ang Lee finally unleashes the independent movie about gay cowboys we've all been waiting for. Be warned, though. There's not much pudding eating to be had, although Heath Ledger does scoff a slice of apple pie.

Brokeback Mountain is set in the mountains of Wyoming, deep in America's heartland, (actually they filmed it all in Alberta, but don't tell anybody). Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger play Jack and Ennis, two monosybillic cowboys hired to protect a flock of sheep as they graze out on the wilderness of Brokeback Mountain. Jake's the dashing, playful one. Heath's the earnest, brooding one. This is about as far as the character development goes in the beginning, since the script could have been written on the back of the postage stamp and the sheep get all the best lines.
But the movie quickly shifts up a gear as it follows Jack and Ennis off Brokeback Mountain, and chronicles the two decades of their love affair.

Ang Lee does a fantastic job showing us a slice of Americana we don't see on episodes of Will and Grace. Wyoming is a beautiful, but unforgiving place, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. These are 'real' men, are as rugged as the scenery, who sleep with their boots on and do as much communicating with their fists as they do with their voices.

To these men, homosexuality is absolutely forbidden. They can't spell it and they don't like it. But despite living in this homophobic environment, Jack and Ennis are two men who can't deny their feelings for each other. The crux of Brokeback's story is the very different way in which the two of them deal with their feelings.

Both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal must have rolled their eyes when they saw the script (all two pages of it.) They were expected to communicate emotion, longing and frustration with only a few lines of dialogue to work with - and it didn't help that Heath mumbled most of his lines. But they did a wonderful job.

And Ang Lee, the director who turned "The Hulk" into a snorefest, was treading a thin line with his self indulgent direction. But the package really pulls it off. Brokeback Mountain is a film rich in detail and character and immerses you effortlessly into the world of cowboys, ranchers, pick-up trucks, country music and forbidden love.

I'd certainly recommend seeing it.

Women and the Women Who Love Them

2006-01-03T05:43:00.000-08:00

International News: New York City

Well, you'll be pleased to know that I'm recovered from the excitements of New Years and after a brief discussion with the authorities I was allowed to return home.

So it's 2006 - a year ripe with possibilities.

And to tantalise you all today, I'm going to introduce you to the women who love women.

On Craigslist NewYork, in the Woman For Women section of the personals, you will find dozens of posts in which beautiful women search for the same - often illustrated with beautiful, arousing photos. Far more photos that the Women For Women section and a lot more exciting than the sausage-fest that is Men Seeking Men.

Here is a brief selection, all from today's postings. That's over twenty pics of beautiful women who decided to stretch their sapphic muscles on Tuesday the 3rd January. Seems like there are a lot of thusly inclined women in the big apple.

But be sympathetic to them. Apparently, for every genuine response these girls get from a like-minded young lady, they'll receive about twenty emails from lecherous blokes. Blokes who don't seem to understand the concept of "women seeking women" or handy little suggestions like "women only" or "no men."

Seems wherever in the world you go, there is no shortage of horny, desperate, delusional men.

Happy New Year!

A Bit of Comic Relief

2006-01-02T11:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Yeah... Groan. Should have kept off that third bottle of Mumm...

Until I recover, here is some classic boffage, comic style.

A Very Myspace Christmas!

2005-12-26T07:09:00.000-08:00

International News: California, USA

Well, Christmas has come and gone. Simon Scarlet, being the international soul that he is, enjoyed a spot of roasted capon instead of the standard turkey and washed it down with a very nice '85 Margaux.

And now for a Christmas present for you lot.

Just like they say "give a man a fish and he can eat for a day" in all the cheesy old adverts, Simon Scarlet has decided not to reward you all with a stock-in-trade picture of some hottie with her boobies exposed and a Christmas hat perched on her bonce... anybody can do that. Christmas is the most prolific centrefold month of the year.

No, instead I am going to show you a highlight from the bastion of Tottywatch, MySpace. A resource. Instead of eating for a day, you can feast for the whole year.

www.myspace.com is a web community, in which all sorts of talented people post countless pictures of themselves and list dozens of people as their friends. Some of the girls on myspace are simply gorgous... Below, I am proud to introduce on of them.

This is the lovely Liotch the Biotch... I think her real name is Leah. This is what she says about herself:

"I'm finally finding who I am and where I want to be in life. I've learned you can't love someone who doesn't love themselves.. So here I stand with more lessons learned and an eager heart. Through each year I learn more about the MALE SPECIES haha.. and accept them for what they give to women.. and more of what they lack."

Enjoy her pictures and check her out on myspace.com:

Pornography Sucks

2005-12-21T12:26:00.000-08:00

International News: USA

You know what? Pornography sucks.

Mainstream porn, the stuff churned out in California, is simply awful. Watching some 32 year old woman with fake boobs, a dayglo orange fake tan, bleached blonde hair and caked-on makeup is about as erotic as catching the little fella in your fly zipper. Especially when you think she's probably filmed six scenes that morning.

There's just something so artificial about it all. You watch her as she fellates and fucks a series of dayglo-orange hunks with ponytails and goatees... The vacant look in her eyes. It's just a job for her. She drives into work in her '99 Toyota just like everybody else... Only instead of filling in forms or making telephone calls in an office cubicle, she's taking it up the ass from a complete stranger. It's just a paycheck and that enthusiasm (or rather lack of it) can wilt an erection faster than seeing Hillary Clinton naked.

That's why the only pornography that works is the 'real' kind. The stuff that used to turn up on nowthatsfuckedup.com and other sites like that. Real people, with pubic hair and the odd love handle, doing all the things porn stars do, except with genuine enjoyment. The thrill of watching a girl-next-door have a photographed threesome sends blood rushing south faster than anything. This girl isn't doing it for $400. She's doing it for thrills. It's naughty, saucy, slutty, dirty... I think my blood pressure just went up.

Real people are always so much sexier than porn stars. Real sex is always so much more exciting. Some candid photos make you wonder who the girl is and how she got herself into that situation... Like the photos down below.

Who is this pretty girl in the red bra? And why is she so enthusiatically gorging on men's sperm? I don't know. Every time I look at these pictures, I invent a new story... All I do know is that the complete works of Jenna Jameson couldn't get me hotter than this short series of photos...

Enjoy!

Girls Kissing

2005-12-21T02:59:00.000-08:00

International News: New York City

Apologies for not updating... As an international Playboy, I get called to SO MANY parties at this time of year, and I've spent the last couple of days taking it easy after drinking an entire bottle of Absolut Manderin. Neat.

What can I say? The party was boring and I needed something to do!

But here's something to get you in the festive mood.

As you'll know, I have lived in most of the ritzy cities in the world, including Manhattan, of course. And New Yorkers are quite my favourite people. I especially like the beautiful, lithe girls who hang about in places like the Wetbar.

One wonderfully American phenomenom is the "girls kissing" thing. A couple of cosmopolitans and every girl seems suddenly bisexual. The men watching love it, of course. There is nothing, absolutly nothing, more erotic than two beautiful girls swapping saliva. And the girls get the benefit too, since none of them need to buy a drink for the rest of the evening.

So in anticipation of this holiday season, and all the Christmas spirit and alcoholic spirit that goes with it, The Scarlet Letter is proud to present some candid pictures of beautiful girls locking lips.

Enjoy!

Master of the Ass

2005-12-18T06:09:00.000-08:00

International News: Italy

Time for some culture, and to highlight the career of one of the world's foremost comic-book artists, Paolo Eleuteri Serpieri - known to many as "Master of the Ass."

His buxom heroines are free spirited, sensual and gorgeous. His stories feature violence, gore, alien monsters, post-apocolyptic futures and, of course, lots of sex. He is best known for illustrating the Druuna series.

Please enjoy the artwork below, all from Serpieri's works.

Fighting for Peace is like Fucking for Virginity

2005-12-17T15:23:00.000-08:00

International News: Norway

After yesterday's serious post, I thought it best to compare the American attitudes towards sex and politics to the European ones.

Take the Norwegians, for example. Known most often for their "dunder salts" and single television channel, the Norwegians are actually at the forefront of the sexual and political revolution.

Whilst in America, drug-peddling police officers from backwater counties arrest the pornographers, in Norway, the pornographers are the ones landing the political punches.

Take a recent concert held to support the conservationists. It was taken as read that there would be a lot of smelly hippies and at least one pretty talentless rocks band... But that rock band managed to hit the heldlines with it's rather raunchy stage show.

That's right. Dreadlocked and stinky, two true blue eco-warriors hopped up on stage and showed the world that the environment was worth fucking for.

The Scarlet Letter is pleased to be able to provide you with the photos.

Enjoy them, everybody. And recycle.

Polk County Ignores US Constitution - Now THAT'S Fucked Up!

2005-12-17T04:25:00.000-08:00

International News, Polk County, Florida

In an update to today's story, Chris Wilson, out on £100,000 bail, had his bail revoked and is back in jail, for reasons which legally I can't disclose here. Not because it's against the law or anything. Just because there don't appear to be any legitimate legal reasons for being able to do this.

Visit freechris.org for more information.

Now THAT'S Fucked Up!

2005-12-16T09:23:00.000-08:00

International News: Polk County, Florida

Out of the gazillions of gigabytes of porn on the internet, the only adult sites I’ve ever visited with regularity have been nowthatsfuckedup.com and ffstories.com (Forbidden Fantasies.)

As far as I was concerned, both of these sites blew away the airbrushed, silicon-enhanced competition.

So what am I bitching about?

The fact that neither of them exist any more.

On 7th October 2005, Officers from the Polk County Sheriff’s office raided the home of Chris Wilson, founder of nowthatsfuckedup.com. He was charged with over three hundred counts of possessing and distributing obscenity - and faces 300 years in prison if convicted.

Now what obscenity was it that drove the Polk County Sheriff’s office into such action? Child pornography? Snuff?

Nothing quite so dramatic.

Nowthatsfuckedup.com was merely a website for couples to upload and exchange photos of themselves, nude or ‘in action.’ Membership was either a fixed $10 fee, or free if you uploaded your own graphic images.

No airbrushed babes, sterile Playboy Centrefolds or pneumatic sex-dolls here. Just real people, in real situations.

There was nothing on the website more graphic than what porn sites churn out in California. No laws were broken. But there was something on the website that upset “the powers that be.”

Chris, patriotic soul that he was, offered free memberships to any troops serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, provided they supply photographic proof. Some of this proof was quite graphic and bloody.

Many believe that it was this uncensored portrait of war that led to Polk County slinging poor Chris in jail. As a result, he has been forced to remove all pornographic images from his website. The gory images of war, ironically, are allowed to stay.

So that’s the fate of one of my favourite websites. The other?

Ffstories.com was actually Forbidden Fantasies, run by the lovely Shannon. Shannon wrote, reviewed and hosted scores of erotic stories. But that wasn’t why her site was so successful. Interspersed with all this glorious literary filth, Shannon kept us abreast of her life through a colourful and infrequently updated blog, which related her adventures as student, worker, stripper and self-confessed slut. Her devoted following revelled in her adventures.

But, alas, ffstories.com is no more either. Why’s that?

Recently the FBI decided to raid the home of another famous Erotic Story site, charging the owner with obscenity. Frightened by the prospect of a web-host being arrested and charged for merely possessing stories on the internet, Shannon’s host shut down the site immediately – ending the roller-coaster of ups and downs that was Forbidden Fantasies.

So there we have it. In the space of a matter of weeks, the American government has instigated the shut down of two legal, above board websites, ignoring the constitution of the United States, federal and state law and even the boundaries between countries. America has become a place where a small, hick, redneck town of bible bashers in backwater Florida find they have the authority to police the entire internet.

Dark days, my friends.

Still, to brighten your woe, I was able to come up with some nowthatsfuckedup.com pictures that had made it to my hard drive before the site was shut down.

Do your patriotic duty in the name of free speech and enjoy them.

Canadian Bacon

2005-12-15T07:34:00.000-08:00

International News, Ontario, Canada

It seems the students of The University of Western Ontario have been paying attention during their economics classes.

When one of the students there decided to have an old-fashioned Boy's Night In, they didn't outsource for the mandatory stripper - they simply asked a gorgous female student from down the hall to perform. For the right price, she was more than happy to oblige!

In retrospect, I'm not quite sure how happy she'll be knowing that the pictures from that inpromptu striptease are already winging their way across the internet!

Aside from this young lady becoming the best-known bottom in Canada, the whole shindig's caused a bit of a scandal at the University; but officials aren't taking any action.

"We certainly regret this has happened," says Western's Vice President of Housing, Susan Grindrod, "and it's not something the university condones. We are very disappointed in these students. However, rooms in residence are considered to be the students' homes; and what goes on between consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes is considered their business."

Exactly how much the student charged for performing her live strip show isn't clear. However, after all this media exposure, I'm sure her rates will go up!

Without further ado, I'm very proud to be able to bring to you the pictures from that night.